What do you get if you divide $1 trillion over 30 years between a handful of voters in a few marginal seats? (a) broke; (b) lowest unemployment rates ever; (c) a Labor government; (d) this is a wonderful set of numbers and it’s not like we’re just printing money here, I mean let’s face it, this was the biggest crisis since the, er, Spanish flu and millions of hard working Australians are said to have died during the worst global pandemic in a thousand years if we don’t…
Sam is 11 years old. Ross is twice as old as Sam. If Ross is 50 years old, how old will Sam be? (a) 11; (b) 22; (c) 100; (d) NOOOOO!!! Don’t you even realize that Ross and Sam will NEVER be 50 years old!!! They will be DEAD, idiot!!! The whole planet BURNS and there is NO TIME left to even THINK about this STUPID question!! How DARE you even ASK?!?
There are 14 more potatoes than onions in a basket of 36 potatoes and onions. How many potatoes are in the basket? (a) I get it, this is one of those trick questions, yes? (b) yuck, that sounds dirty; (c) I just don’t understand why we need so many potatoes when there are people going hungry in third world countries who don’t even have one potato a day.
“Rich” and “prosperous” are two words that have what meaning? (another; (b) similar; (c) contradictory; (d) totally disgusting and privileged.
A girl is 17 years old. Her brother is twice her age. What will be the age of the boy when the girl is 23 years old? (a) 17; (b) 23; (c) parent; (d) this question is so sexist and misogynist that I just don’t believe anyone can even say stuff like this in this day and age, and anyway what if she’s Two Spirit or non-binary she’s still the sister from zir and what if the brother identifies as gender trans, you despicable transphobe!!
Micky’s salary is $1000. If he wants to save 75 percent of his wages in a savings account, how much should he put in? (a) Why would he do that? (b) What is a savings account? (c) He would get more on JobSeeker anyway.
What is the relationship between the words “white” and “racist”? (a) the same; (b) identical; (c) synonyms.
Which of these words does not belong on this list? (a) lit; (b) incredible; (c) great; (d) compassionate; (e) Albo; (f) trombone.
Ten people shake hands and they all get to shake hands once. How many die from COVID-19? (a) All; (b) That will serve them well because they are not vaxxed.
Kim rents a van to run errands during the week. On Monday and Tuesday, her total gas bill was $4.25. On Wednesday and Thursday, her cost was $6.50. On Friday, she spent $7. What is her average daily cost to the planet? (a) Incalculable; (b) apocalyptic; (c) fatal; (d) Armageddon.